Dear Barry -
You're one of those people I had hoped to run into when I was working in L.A., but no
such luck. You're also one of those people I'm not sure what to say to because you are so
special to me. I'm sure you've heard this kind of stuff a million times before. But, as
any psychologist would tell you, a person in my mental condition would consider it
particularly important that you hear it from me :} Okay, so I'm a little cynical right
Seriously, though, when I was 6 or 7 or 8, Bob Vestal took me into one of those
booths.. I said, what should I sing, he said I don't know. I sang Happy Birthday. I think
I got out 2 lines before the 3 minute recording eneded. :} I have this strange feeling
maybe the Franciscans have that :} Just joking, sort of.
In the tradition of the Soundtrack
of Your Life... your music means a lot to me for a number of reasons. First, I admire
your skills, and your willingness to have fun with it. As a performer. But as a
writer... I appreciate what it takes to write commericals. We had State Farm, and the
agent was, in fact, a pretty good neighbor. :} The music was good too. :}
Seriously, though... Sailing, the Christopher Cross song, your version, just came up on
my playlist, and I looked at the cuts and thought, what other Barry Manilow songs do I
want to hear. And then I said, wait, Sailing
is one of my favorites, I have a story about that too. :}
Could It Be Magic... I know I should remember the classical piece that's based on, but
wow, what a powerhouse. Talk about a cover tune. I could tell you lots of stories that
relate to the music you've written and recorded, part of the Soundtrack of My Life, and
some pretty powerful memories and lessons learned.
I wonder how many artists and musicians think about the impressions they inlay into
I never gave this angle much thought before, but the same people who create violent or
militant music might be upset if the same kind of sentiment was broadcast about them on
There are others who might say the militant musicians wouldn't be militant except for
the images and impressions delivered on tv. I actually know there are people who dislike
me because I object to the deceptions they perpetrate. I find that interesting too.
As a former advertising person, I know you understand what I mean about impressions,
and how they are used to influence a culture.
But, I wanted to tell you a story about a song and a person... we never had a
"relationship", but we had a relationship. And that song actually, in its own
way tells that story. It's uncanny.
The woman who this story is about is actually named Mandy.
And it was only sprinkling :}(BTW: The acoustic version here is excellent)
I'll preface this by saying that my parents used to have these little conversations in
front of me... it was weird... I could tell they were talking about something just so I
could hear it. Things they claimed my father didn't even believe in. One was this
conversation about how if you're driving down the road and see someone hitching a ride,
you'd better pick them up, because you never know when it might be an Angel with a special
message for you.
My mom said that. My dad whole heartedly agreed. I was told he claimed to be an
atheist. I never heard him say that.
I was an 18 year old disk jockey whose voice hadn't changed - I looked about 11 or
12... I didn't mind so much, except that I knew since the time I was 10 or so that
something was wrong with me, and I knew my mom knew all about it because it was a genetic
thing that ran in the family. Still, I asked to go to the doctor and she always put me off
So when I turned 18, I signed up for Medi-Cal and went to a hospital in San Francisco
for some routine tests, a 1 week complete physical, and then I went home.
It was a kind of scary time. The SLA (Symbionese Liberation
Army) had kidnapped Patricia Hearst (who never should have been prosecuted for
anything). No one I knew condoned hijacking grocery trucks from Safeway, but at the same
time, you couldn't help feeling a little pleasure in the Robin Hood "justice" of
all those people being given free food.
I remember being in the hospital, loving the fact that I could listen to KFRC on the
radio 24 hours a day on my headphones. The nurses thought it was cute that I wouldn't let
my radio out of sight or safe keeping when I went for tests. I always chuckle a little,
because there I was in a teaching hospital. About 4 times a day, 6 or more student doctors
would come in to do a range of tests and examinations and place towels and things in
strategic places.. after a couple of days of this, I didn't mind them all examining me,
but I grew tired of all the protocol because of their embarassment, and asked if we could
dispense with all that if it was okay if I - well- got naked and made everythig quicker
and easier. They never took me up on that. House would have :}
But, there I was, wandering around San Francisco alone, really enjoying it actually,
walking some 50 or 60 blocks from the bus station to the hospital. I'd have done more
walking around, but for all the times older men would try to get me to go back to their
hotels with them.
Interestingly enough, with the emergence of the Seven Headed Snake emblem, I believed
it was a sign of the end of days... and that's when I actually read part of the Bible -
Revelations - and realized that the things in my heart that I wanted to do in the
world really would - according to common translations of the King James Bible - make me
the possibility of the anti-Christ in an individual. The key to it all was actually about
whether this "Emperor" as Arnold Schwarzenneger refers to, would be wise enough
to bring peace to the world without being duped by the :diabolical people"...
ending in global war and destruction after 7 years because of that level of deception and
yet another dialectic to overthrow "Camelot" once again.
You're Jewish aren't you? I think I heard that somewhere... I'd really love to talk to
some Jewish people who don't feel like they're in the position of defending their faith. I
have some questions and observations that would give them some emotional relief. Mainly,
because I fully understand that in their faith, their messiah has not come, it makes
perfect sense, and I support them in that reasoning. The idea of requiring that Christ WAS
their messiah, as opposed to their prophet, in their circumstances and place in history,
would actually be false. And the idea of "oneness" is not so much about agreeing
that their is any right religion, but that there is a "correct example". And
God, in our Christian faith, says that is Christianity. The example, not the religion.
In fact the "oneness" is not about agreeing about everything and coming to
the same conclusion and walking around with robot smiles and without diversity of opinion
or creativity. In fact, just the opposite is true. Oneness is about all inclusiveness.
It's all valid, it all has something to offer, and sometimes I wish I had a million
lifetimes to spend my lives indulging in the depths of every piece of knowledge and faith
and silliness and philosophy there is for the joy of the freedom my spirit receives by the
understanding it all provides, and the love and appreciation for all it causes.
That's the thing people reeally need to understand about God, religion and faith more
than anything else. The beauty of the approach to the Kabala, as I understand it, is that
you study "everything ever written and considered relevant"... and look at
everything... each word and phrase and sentence and paragraph.. with the possibility that
the inerpretation of the words has three meanings.
There's probably a word or description for what I'm describing. It was my brief study
of the Kabala that trained me to understand how people were talking in code on tv (See
Aesopian Language), that politicians are talking in code, that the Bible and Holy writings
have encoded messages.. which is how, truly by accident, by asking a couple of people on
the phone who just happened to be from Germany... Actually I had someone else ask them
what my name meant in German.
They said, each time, different people, told her what it meant, they were startled.
But, after a year or so, after reading the Bible front to back, I really studied it, I saw
the patterns of much of the code. I thought about the actual German translations of my
name and realized that my name unlocked the mystery of who the Son Of Man is.
And I also now realize that if I had been the naive guy who gets duped, then the world
WOULD perceive me as the Emperor, but If I succeeded, I would be viewed as the Son
of Man. And if I did fail, and get portrayed as this Emperor, then God would send another
person as the Son of Man to succeed after the carnage. God has multiple timelines and
dialectics too. And then, maybe there would be this other guy who WAS posing as the Son of
Man, and it's my job to stop him... which is how it appears to be.
But, if you understood history, and the history in the Bible and all of the
elements that comprise the cause and generation of the events and individuals in existence
today, you'd recognize that the archetype, character, policies and scenario in which the
current presidential election is being conducted, with all the symbols it includes,
including the rising sun (Obama's emblem), you would come to realize that the Emperor is
running for president. And it isn't me. AND the Bible never said this "Emperor"
would cause this destruction on purpose. It's alot to take in, but the facts are all
And God said He would shorten the days of the tribulations. To that end, the timeline
of Revelations begins to deviate some, because God is doing a few things "on the
fly", and is also part of why the "seers will no longer see"... that, and
That success would occur only because people would be then willing to give up those
things and institutions that are destroying themselves. So, if I fail - because God
absolutely promised us - even evil people - free will and choice.... then another will
come, until, in the worst case scenario, God would come and try to reconstruct what was
destroyed by our choices. But it's actually clear to me that the time is now, it's
happening before our eyes.... and our roles - mine an dhis - are clearly defined.
It's a paradox. Do you want to have liberty free will and choice, and take
responsibility for this planet as you say, or do you really want God to just come, lay the
law down and do it by force. The reason he won't do that is because then he'd be just like
the evil people who want to rule the world by force. Then what would the point be?
Ultimately, God can be patient, He has all the time in the world. Are you really
willing to be that patient, or are you willing to do something about your complaints?
The challenge for me is not to convince people to respect and honor me because of the
purpose I have been chosen to fulfill, but because God wants to wake everyone up, give
them the opportunity to rectify it all themselves... to expel the comfort of the illusion
of "security" with people who have proven they will deceive you if it gains them
votes, money and power... by voting them out of office not because of faith in God or me,
but because you finally were WILLING to see the truth, and be courageous enough to save
yourself and the world by doing something that isn't comfortable or convenient or easy...
like dealing with the truth of your world and doing something about it. And not expecting
someone else to come along and save them when they choose to destroy themselves.
Not like he won't. For the sake of the Creation. But the true test for the readiness of
the next step in humanity and the universe of beings and the cosmos has to do with us
choosing what we know in our hearts, what is right. God says that He is perfected in us.
If anyone would believe that God would wreak havoc on the creation He loves so much, then
ask yourself why He would give us full and true liberty as well?
Not to allow us to make choices that would harm us.
But to give us all the knowledge He has and we can absorb as quickly as possible so
that we will have all the power of creation and intellect and creativity as He has. It's
in us now. But, He can't allow us to use it because - like Lemmings - people tell us lies
and get us to do horrible things to each other - and instead of absolutely and
unwaveringly standing against such behaviors and abominations, we go along in order to
survive. We "save ourselves and lose ourselves" because our fear of being seen
as different is spoken by leaders, and has been amplified by the media in order to force
us all to accept what we're given, and to follow the example of corruption in order to
survive. Another way they dominate you with fear.
God is Perfected in us. If we, the beings of this planet, of this nation fail to
make the right choices at this tenuous point in time, His gift of liberty will be used -
highjacked - to enslave us, by George Bush's friends, the actual "evil-doers",
who "forecasted their actions" just like the Bible said, when Bush announced
that what was occurring in the world would deteremine the power that would rule this
planet for 1000 years.
He was telling you the truth about that. But, as the code talk goes, the part he didn't
tell us - the joke he and his friends share - is that he and his friends are the bad
guys.And they laugh at you. Just like Tom Ridge did after telling you to buy duct tape,
and then laughing on TV when talking about how (the stupid) people actually did what he
It's the same as when Bush was first inaugurated, and stated he would be the president
of all the people. The joke with his friends is that all he did was state the law. If you
look around, can you honestly say that it reflected his intention to serve the interests
and concerns of all of the CITIZENS of this United States? Nope.
He served "all of his people", the people they see themselves as, the owners
and rulers of this country and the world... the elitists... and it's the Republicans AND
the Democrats, McCain and Obama... they all belong to the same club, the Council on
Foreign Relations. whether their personal intent is good or bad is relevant. To them, we
are the "common" and "ordinary" people that appear as numbers on their
management reports. And we are the nuisance peasants they will deal with in an obligatory
manner because they need people to do their bidding. Think about it before hating me for
Rushen - Forget-Me-Nots
So Barry.. it' funny because some have thought I've written these letters to people to
make them think I'm cool, or to gather web hits using your names. The truth is, I started
doing it to reach out to people whom I believe know something about the things I've come
to know. I think you're someone who understands more than most about the spiritual part of
this existence. So I start writing things, and then stuff like what's above comes out.
Didn't intend to write it. It really came from God.
And the letter was inspired to give me a vehicle, a basis to remember memories of
things. Some more significant than others. Things He's shown me over the years in
order to be able to communicate it to the world now.
Then I write things like this... agree that it would have to look weird to people
coming to this site, but feeling like I'm caught in one of those "Noah"
moments.. you know... Noah, how long can you tread water?" :} Personally, I think
it's God's way of telling me "Chuck, you made a promise to give a sermon today, and I
don't care what your circumstances are, whether you can talk or not, I'm holding you to
Talk about convesations with God :} I assure you, I have no confusion about who the
boss is :}
For now, we'll call that a digression.:} I'm not really always like this :} I've been
warned about being too sanctimonious :} Still, it just comes out sometimes. :}
Two weeks later, I came back for the results and found out that I would never have
children, unless I had some other hormone therapy to cause me to be fertile. Frankly, in
my mind, it's okay if people have therapy to be fertile and all, but my choice was to not
pass on a genetic defect. I ws open to other alternatives.
But the truth is, it left me in a bit of a daze. It changed my whole outlook, my whole
world. My whole life centered around the idea of raising children. I really love children.
I walked back to the bus station, not really paying much attention to the beautiful city
that's one of my favorites of everywere I've been.
I got on the bus to go to Santa Cruz from there, to spend time at my brother's house.
This was in the early 70's, and it was alright to smoke on the bus. Especially since it ws
75% empty. We're going along on the Greyhound and get to the first stop, and I look up and
there's this woman.. a "girl if you will.. someone of my own age... walks straight to
my 3 across seat, and says "do you mind if I sit here?"
I looked around. There were plenty of seats. I don't want to sound
pathetic, but the trut is, I was sitting there in a daze still, staring out the window as
my mind processed a massive change in my vision of my life. And not a change I welcomed.
To make it worse, I was really pretty shy about girls, and, you can understand that when
you're 18 and look 11, you don't go around picking up women. And from a
"Christian" and parental moral perspective, I was really pretty prudish
during the sexual revolution, though if I had matured properly, I don't think I would have
been. I saw many young people, my friends, being hurt because they weren't emotionally
prepared to deal with sexual activities. I didn't judge them for it, but in many ways, I
was actually glad I wan't involved in that. And it's not like I never had girlfriends.
Nor was I unaccustomed to "girls" approaching me:"
So I said, "There are plenty of seats"... I smoke, is that okay?" trying
to discourage her. She said, "Oh no, that's fine, and proceeded to sit down next to
I stared out the window. She says "Would you mind putting out your
I looked at her and said "You told me you didn't mind. There are plenty of other
seats. Are you sure you don't want to move?"
She said "No".
"But would you mind putting out your cigarette?"
I thought, what the heck. So I put it out. This is one of those million times in my
life where I said to myself "What the heck. Let's see where this one goes." :}
This kind of stuff just happens to me all the time. I'm not complaining. It's just weird.
So we talked and I enjoyed it. This "Angel" came along, got my head out of my
blues and made me feel good. Within an hour, she kept trying to convince me to go live
with her in Moss Landing. I wasn't ready for that. Had no money. I'd never had a real job
or lived on my own. And I had all this expensive hormone therapy to deal with. And... I
turned her down. But it was tempting. Had no idea what I would have done if I 'd gone with
her. I was clueless. Not like that's changed. But she sure did brighten my day, and make
me feel worthwhile again.
...She came, and she gave without taking...
Over the next several months, I'd get these little notes from her in the mail, always
urging me to get in touch and get together. I'd always send her a note back with a
pleasant thought, some Susan Polis Schwarz poetry that I really love or something... and
....Will you kiss me and stop me from shaking...
I was going through a better period in my life a few months later and decided to get
together with her. She really was pleasant, sort of deep and solemn but playful, a kind of
free spirit I like. One of those people you kind of know without knowing. So I wrote to
her, saying, hey how about I come down. And then I never heard from her again. :}
But it was an interesting relationship that nurtured me at a time when I needed it, and
must have given her something too. Just a friendly exchange between old souls?
Sort of reminds me of Deja Vu... :} Which is interesting, because half way through the
story I just told, I realized I have a perfect story for that song too, having to do with
when I moved to Brooklyn to stay at the home of a psychic from the Psychic Friends
Network. She was a REAL psychic. I called the line a bunch of times because I was bored,
and I wanted to see if they had real psychics. I got one who read tarot, another woman who
was real but acted sort of afraid of me. And then there was Marcia. She hung out with a
group of people associated with a man named Barry Sands... I could never figure out why I
never got a bill for any of those calls.
Anyway... I was in good shape musically then, I could remember my songs, played and
sang well.. I was going to do internet consulting in the daytime, and she was going to
book me into clubs in Grenwich, And, we were going to start this business where guys,
mostly, would be able to contact us, tell me the particulars about a person they wanted
something special for, and I would whip out original custom songs for their girlfriends
for like, $19.95 each and they'd even own the rights.
What a scam to get cheap tunes out of me, now that I think of it. I was in Yosemite
when all this got set up. I told her one day, I don't want to be arrogant, but I could be
like Manilow if I wanted to. She said, "I know". I thought tht was weird. She
really was a psychic. And I believed what she said. She never actually would tell me
anything though. Like there was something she didn't want me to know.
Traveling cross country... through a forest fire... a trailer on a Camaro all the way
to Brooklyn. That story is actully the basis for my stories about New York in the "For
the Love of the World Section". I don't know if that includes the story about
reading the guy's mind. I'll have to check that out. Believe it or not, I haven't
even begun to tell you that story.
After all that, I don't really know why I wrote all that to you. But it always
surprises me that I do, and find out later that I accidentally caused someone to think
about something or some one or some time in a way I never could have thought I would touch
their lives. I'll bet you're surprised to Discover that "Mandy" would evoke such
good bittersweet, and wonderful memories like those? And I'd just be curious to know if
such observations are still as fascinating to you as they were when you first became a
Think of it like a questionnaire from God, wondering what the level of appreciation for
His blessings are, and what the disconnect is between imparting the gifts and the
responsibility of the use of those gifts. I'm seriously not accusing you of anything. He'd
just kind of like to know. Because, He thinks, maybe He expected too much of people, and
the benefits of stardom and all that. I know most artists understand that feeling that the
gift, the music, moves through them... you know, spirit move me...
Meanwhile... thanks for all the great music. You'll always be one of my favorites.
Maybe if I ever get the time to actually learn to play piano, I'll be like
you.} Although that would be a pretty high standard to aspire to.
Bless Ya for the love you spread,
PS. I won't hold it against you for being associated with Clive.