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Of Concern & Love

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Barry Manilow

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 Howdy  Phil Collins: Don't Get Me Started                      Questions that must be answered               Howdy Cat Stevens: Peace Train

Could This Be The Magic...


Dear Barry -

You're one of those people I had hoped to run into when I was working in L.A., but no such luck. You're also one of those people I'm not sure what to say to because you are so special to me. I'm sure you've heard this kind of stuff a million times before. But, as any psychologist would tell you, a person in my mental condition would consider it particularly important that you hear it from me :} Okay, so I'm a little cynical right now.

Seriously, though, when I was 6 or 7 or 8, Bob Vestal took me into one of those booths.. I said, what should I sing, he said I don't know. I sang Happy Birthday. I think I got out 2 lines before the 3 minute recording eneded. :} I have this strange feeling maybe the Franciscans have that :} Just joking, sort of.

In the tradition of the littlebluedot.gif (881 bytes) Soundtrack of Your Life... your music means a lot to me for a number of reasons. First, I admire your skills, and  your willingness to have fun with it. As a performer. But as a writer... I appreciate what it takes to write commericals. We had State Farm, and the agent was, in fact, a pretty good neighbor. :} The music was good too. :}

Seriously, though... Sailing, the Christopher Cross song, your version, just came up on my playlist, and I looked at the cuts and thought, what other Barry Manilow songs do I want to hear. And then I said, wait, Howdy Sailing is one of my favorites, I have a story about that too. :}

Could It Be Magic... I know I should remember the classical piece that's based on, but wow, what a powerhouse. Talk about a cover tune. I could tell you lots of stories that relate to the music you've written and recorded, part of the Soundtrack of My Life, and some pretty powerful memories and lessons learned.

I wonder how many artists and musicians think about the impressions they inlay into people's minds.

I never gave this angle much thought before, but the same people who create violent or militant music might be upset if the same kind of sentiment was broadcast about them on tv.

There are others who might say the militant musicians wouldn't be militant except for the images and impressions delivered on tv. I actually know there are people who dislike me because I object to the deceptions they perpetrate. I find that interesting too.

As a former advertising person, I know you understand what I mean about impressions, and how they are used to influence a culture.

But, I wanted to tell you a story about a song and a person... we never had a "relationship", but we had a relationship. And that song actually, in its own way tells that story. It's uncanny.

The woman who this story is about is actually named Howdy Mandy. And it was only sprinkling :}(BTW: The acoustic version here is excellent)

I'll preface this by saying that my parents used to have these little conversations in front of me... it was weird... I could tell they were talking about something just so I could hear it. Things they claimed my father didn't even believe in. One was this conversation about how if you're driving down the road and see someone hitching a ride, you'd better pick them up, because you never know when it might be an Angel with a special message for you.

My mom said that. My dad whole heartedly agreed. I was told he claimed to be an atheist. I never heard him say that.

I was an 18 year old disk jockey whose voice hadn't changed - I looked about 11 or 12... I didn't mind so much, except that I knew since the time I was 10 or so that something was wrong with me, and I knew my mom knew all about it because it was a genetic thing that ran in the family. Still, I asked to go to the doctor and she always put me off about it.

So when I turned 18, I signed up for Medi-Cal and went to a hospital in San Francisco for some routine tests, a 1 week complete physical, and then I went home.

It was a kind of scary time. The littlebluedot.gif (881 bytes) SLA littlebluedot.gif (881 bytes) (Symbionese Liberation Army) had kidnapped Patricia Hearst (who never should have been prosecuted for anything). No one I knew condoned hijacking grocery trucks from Safeway, but at the same time, you couldn't help feeling a little pleasure in the Robin Hood "justice" of all those people being given free food.

I remember being in the hospital, loving the fact that I could listen to KFRC on the radio 24 hours a day on my headphones. The nurses thought it was cute that I wouldn't let my radio out of sight or safe keeping when I went for tests. I always chuckle a little, because there I was in a teaching hospital. About 4 times a day, 6 or more student doctors would come in to do a range of tests and examinations and place towels and things in strategic places.. after a couple of days of this, I didn't mind them all examining me, but I grew tired of all the protocol because of their embarassment, and asked if we could dispense with all that if it was okay if I - well- got naked and made everythig quicker and easier. They never took me up on that. House would have :}

But, there I was, wandering around San Francisco alone, really enjoying it actually, walking some 50 or 60 blocks from the bus station to the hospital. I'd have done more walking around, but for all the times older men would try to get me to go back to their hotels with them.

Interestingly enough, with the emergence of the Seven Headed Snake emblem, I believed it was a sign of the end of days... and that's when I actually read part of the Bible -   Revelations - and realized that the things in my heart that I wanted to do in the world really would - according to common translations of the King James Bible - make me the possibility of the anti-Christ in an individual. The key to it all was actually about whether this "Emperor" as Arnold Schwarzenneger refers to, would be wise enough to bring peace to the world without being duped by the :diabolical people"...   ending in global war and destruction after 7 years because of that level of deception and yet another dialectic to overthrow "Camelot" once again.

You're Jewish aren't you? I think I heard that somewhere... I'd really love to talk to some Jewish people who don't feel like they're in the position of defending their faith. I have some questions and observations that would give them some emotional relief. Mainly, because I fully understand that in their faith, their messiah has not come, it makes perfect sense, and I support them in that reasoning. The idea of requiring that Christ WAS their messiah, as opposed to their prophet, in their circumstances and place in history, would actually be false. And the idea of "oneness" is not so much about agreeing that their is any right religion, but that there is a "correct example". And God, in our Christian faith, says that is Christianity. The example, not the religion.

In fact the "oneness" is not about agreeing about everything and coming to the same conclusion and walking around with robot smiles and without diversity of opinion or creativity. In fact, just the opposite is true. Oneness is about all inclusiveness. It's all valid, it all has something to offer, and sometimes I wish I had a million lifetimes to spend my lives indulging in the depths of every piece of knowledge and faith and silliness and philosophy there is for the joy of the freedom my spirit receives by the understanding it all provides, and the love and appreciation for all it causes.

That's the thing people reeally need to understand about God, religion and faith more than anything else. The beauty of the approach to the Kabala, as I understand it, is that you study "everything ever written and considered relevant"...  and look at everything... each word and phrase and sentence and paragraph.. with the possibility that the inerpretation of the words has three meanings.

There's probably a word or description for what I'm describing. It was my brief study of the Kabala that trained me to understand how people were talking in code on tv (See Aesopian Language), that politicians are talking in code, that the Bible and Holy writings have encoded messages.. which is how, truly by accident, by asking a couple of people on the phone who just happened to be from Germany... Actually I had someone else ask them what my name meant in German.

They said, each time, different people, told her what it meant, they were startled. But, after a year or so, after reading the Bible front to back, I really studied it, I saw the patterns of much of the code. I thought about the actual German translations of my name and realized that my name unlocked the mystery of who the Son Of  Man is.

And I also now realize that if I had been the naive guy who gets duped, then the world WOULD perceive me as the Emperor, but If  I succeeded, I would be viewed as the Son of Man. And if I did fail, and get portrayed as this Emperor, then God would send another person as the Son of Man to succeed after the carnage. God has multiple timelines and dialectics too. And then, maybe there would be this other guy who WAS posing as the Son of Man, and it's my job to stop him... which is how it appears to be.

But,  if you understood history, and the history in the Bible and all of the elements that comprise the cause and generation of the events and individuals in existence today, you'd recognize that the archetype, character, policies and scenario in which the current presidential election is being conducted, with all the symbols it includes, including the rising sun (Obama's emblem), you would come to realize that the Emperor is running for president. And it isn't me. AND the Bible never said this "Emperor" would cause this destruction on purpose. It's alot to take in, but the facts are all there.

And God said He would shorten the days of the tribulations. To that end, the timeline of Revelations begins to deviate some, because God is doing a few things "on the fly", and is also part of why the "seers will no longer see"... that, and Psychotronics.

That success would occur only because people would be then willing to give up those things and institutions that are destroying themselves. So, if I fail - because God absolutely promised us - even evil people - free will and choice.... then another will come, until, in the worst case scenario, God would come and try to reconstruct what was destroyed by our choices. But it's actually clear to me that the time is now, it's happening before our eyes.... and our roles - mine an dhis - are clearly defined.

It's a paradox. Do you want to have liberty free will and choice, and take responsibility for this planet as you say, or do you really want God to just come, lay the law down and do it by force. The reason he won't do that is because then he'd be just like the evil people who want to rule the world by force. Then what would the point be?

Ultimately, God can be patient, He has all the time in the world. Are you really willing to be that patient, or are you willing to do something about your complaints?

The challenge for me is not to convince people to respect and honor me because of the purpose I have been chosen to fulfill, but because God wants to wake everyone up, give them the opportunity to rectify it all themselves... to expel the comfort of the illusion of "security" with people who have proven they will deceive you if it gains them votes, money and power... by voting them out of office not because of faith in God or me, but because you finally were WILLING to see the truth, and be courageous enough to save yourself and the world by doing something that isn't comfortable or convenient or easy... like dealing with the truth of your world and doing something about it. And not expecting someone else to come along and save them when they choose to destroy themselves.

Not like he won't. For the sake of the Creation. But the true test for the readiness of the next step in humanity and the universe of beings and the cosmos has to do with us choosing what we know in our hearts, what is right. God says that He is perfected in us. If anyone would believe that God would wreak havoc on the creation He loves so much, then ask yourself why He would give us full and true liberty as well?

Not to allow us to make choices that would harm us.

But to give us all the knowledge He has and we can absorb as quickly as possible so that we will have all the power of creation and intellect and creativity as He has. It's in us now. But, He can't allow us to use it because - like Lemmings - people tell us lies and get us to do horrible things to each other - and instead of absolutely and unwaveringly standing against such behaviors and abominations, we go along in order to survive. We "save ourselves and lose ourselves" because our fear of being seen as different is spoken by leaders, and has been amplified by the media in order to force us all to accept what we're given, and to follow the example of corruption in order to survive. Another way they dominate you with fear.

God is  Perfected in us. If we, the beings of this planet, of this nation fail to make the right choices at this tenuous point in time, His gift of liberty will be used - highjacked - to enslave us, by George Bush's friends, the actual "evil-doers", who "forecasted their actions" just like the Bible said, when Bush announced that what was occurring in the world would deteremine the power that would rule this planet for 1000 years.

He was telling you the truth about that. But, as the code talk goes, the part he didn't tell us - the joke he and his friends share - is that he and his friends are the bad guys.And they laugh at you. Just like Tom Ridge did after telling you to buy duct tape, and then laughing on TV when talking about how (the stupid) people actually did what he said.

It's the same as when Bush was first inaugurated, and stated he would be the president of all the people. The joke with his friends is that all he did was state the law. If you look around, can you honestly say that it reflected his intention to serve the interests and concerns of all of the CITIZENS of this United States? Nope.

He served "all of his people", the people they see themselves as, the owners and rulers of this country and the world... the elitists... and it's the Republicans AND the Democrats, McCain and Obama... they all belong to the same club, the Council on Foreign Relations. whether their personal intent is good or bad is relevant. To them, we are the "common" and "ordinary" people that appear as numbers on their management reports. And we are the nuisance peasants they will deal with in an obligatory manner because they need people to do their bidding. Think about it before hating me for saying that.

Patrice Rushen - Forget-Me-Nots

So Barry.. it' funny because some have thought I've written these letters to people to make them think I'm cool, or to gather web hits using your names. The truth is, I started doing it to reach out to people whom I believe know something about the things I've come to know. I think you're someone who understands more than most about the spiritual part of this existence. So I start writing things, and then stuff like what's above comes out. Didn't intend to write it. It really came from God.

And the letter was inspired to give me a vehicle, a basis to remember memories of things. Some more significant than others. Things  He's shown me over the years in order to be able to communicate it to the world now.

Then I write things like this... agree that it would have to look weird to people coming to this site, but feeling like I'm caught in one of those "Noah" moments.. you know... Noah, how long can you tread water?" :} Personally, I think it's God's way of telling me "Chuck, you made a promise to give a sermon today, and I don't care what your circumstances are, whether you can talk or not, I'm holding you to your promise".

Talk about convesations with God :} I assure you, I have no confusion about who the boss is :}

For now, we'll call that a digression.:} I'm not really always like this :} I've been warned about being too sanctimonious :} Still, it just comes out sometimes. :}

Two weeks later, I came back for the results and found out that I would never have children, unless I had some other hormone therapy to cause me to be fertile. Frankly, in my mind, it's okay if people have therapy to be fertile and all, but my choice was to not pass on a genetic defect. I ws open to other alternatives.

But the truth is, it left me in a bit of a daze. It changed my whole outlook, my whole world. My whole life centered around the idea of raising children. I really love children. I walked back to the bus station, not really paying much attention to the beautiful city that's one of my favorites of everywere I've been.

I got on the bus to go to Santa Cruz from there, to spend time at my brother's house. This was in the early 70's, and it was alright to smoke on the bus. Especially since it ws 75% empty. We're going along on the Greyhound and get to the first stop, and I look up and there's this woman.. a "girl if you will.. someone of my own age... walks straight to my 3 across seat, and says "do you mind if I sit here?"

I looked around.   There were plenty of seats. I don't want to sound pathetic, but the trut is, I was sitting there in a daze still, staring out the window as my mind processed a massive change in my vision of my life. And not a change I welcomed. To make it worse, I was really pretty shy about girls, and, you can understand that when you're 18 and look 11,  you don't go around picking up women. And from a "Christian" and  parental moral perspective, I was really pretty prudish during the sexual revolution, though if I had matured properly, I don't think I would have been. I saw many young people, my friends, being hurt because they weren't emotionally prepared to deal with sexual activities. I didn't judge them for it, but in many ways, I was actually glad I wan't involved in that. And it's not like I never had girlfriends.   Nor was I unaccustomed to "girls" approaching me:"

So I said, "There are plenty of seats"... I smoke, is that okay?" trying to discourage her. She said, "Oh no, that's fine, and proceeded to sit down next to me."

I stared out the window. She says "Would you mind putting out your cigarette?"

I looked at her and said "You told me you didn't mind. There are plenty of other seats. Are you sure you don't want to move?"

She said "No".

"But would you mind putting out your cigarette?"

I thought, what the heck. So I put it out. This is one of those million times in my life where I said to myself "What the heck. Let's see where this one goes." :} This kind of stuff just happens to me all the time. I'm not complaining. It's just weird.

So we talked and I enjoyed it. This "Angel" came along, got my head out of my blues and made me feel good. Within an hour, she kept trying to convince me to go live with her in Moss Landing. I wasn't ready for that. Had no money. I'd never had a real job or lived on my own. And I had all this expensive hormone therapy to deal with. And... I turned her down. But it was tempting. Had no idea what I would have done if I 'd gone with her. I was clueless. Not like that's changed. But she sure did brighten my day, and make me feel worthwhile again.

...She came, and she gave without taking...

Over the next several months, I'd get these little notes from her in the mail, always urging me to get in touch and get together. I'd always send her a note back with   a pleasant thought, some Susan Polis Schwarz poetry that I really love or something... and then ...

....Will you kiss me and stop me from shaking...

I was going through a better period in my life a few months later and decided to get together with her. She really was pleasant, sort of deep and solemn but playful, a kind of free spirit I like. One of those people you kind of know without knowing. So I wrote to her, saying, hey how about I come down. And then I never heard from her again. :}

But it was an interesting relationship that nurtured me at a time when I needed it, and must have given her something too. Just a friendly exchange between old souls?

Sort of reminds me of Deja Vu... :} Which is interesting, because half way through the story I just told, I realized I have a perfect story for that song too, having to do with when I moved to Brooklyn to stay at the home of a psychic from the Psychic Friends Network. She was a REAL psychic. I called the line a bunch of times because I was bored, and I wanted to see if they had real psychics. I got one who read tarot, another woman who was real but acted sort of afraid of me. And then there was Marcia. She hung out with a group of people associated with a man named Barry Sands... I could never figure out why I never got a bill for any of those calls.

Anyway... I was in good shape musically then, I could remember my songs, played and sang well.. I was going to do internet consulting in the daytime, and she was going to book me into clubs in Grenwich, And, we were going to start this business where guys, mostly, would be able to contact us, tell me the particulars about a person they wanted something special for, and I would whip out original custom songs for their girlfriends for like, $19.95 each and they'd even own the rights.

What a scam to get cheap tunes out of me, now that I think of it. I was in Yosemite when all this got set up. I told her one day, I don't want to be arrogant, but I could be like Manilow if I wanted to. She said, "I know". I thought tht was weird. She really was a psychic. And I believed what she said. She never actually would tell me anything though. Like there was something she didn't want me to know.

Traveling cross country... through a forest fire... a trailer on a Camaro all the way to Brooklyn. That story is actully the basis for my stories about New York in the "For the Love of the World Section". I don't know if that includes the story about reading the guy's mind. I'll have to check that out.  Believe it or not, I haven't even begun to tell you that story.


After all that, I don't really know why I wrote all that to you. But it always surprises me that I do, and find out later that I accidentally caused someone to think about something or some one or some time in a way I never could have thought I would touch their lives. I'll bet you're surprised to Discover that "Mandy" would evoke such good bittersweet, and wonderful memories like those? And I'd just be curious to know if such observations are still as fascinating to you as they were when you first became a star.

Think of it like a questionnaire from God, wondering what the level of appreciation for His blessings are, and what the disconnect is between imparting the gifts and the responsibility of the use of those gifts. I'm seriously not accusing you of anything. He'd just kind of like to know. Because, He thinks, maybe He expected too much of people, and the benefits of stardom and all that. I know most artists understand that feeling that the gift, the music, moves through them... you know, spirit move me...

Meanwhile... thanks for all the great music. You'll always be one of my favorites.    Maybe if I ever get the time to actually learn to play piano, I'll be like you.} Although that would be a pretty high standard to aspire to.

Bless Ya for the love you spread,




PS. I won't hold it against you for being associated with Clive.


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