I love thee in the name of Jesus. Let it be known and the words understood that these
are offered as a gift of sharing, that we shall know each other and know ourselves by
being able to express our true thoughts and passions - unfettered by the limitations of
our common world, that love and joy in the hearts of all people may be rekindled like a
smoldering fire that comes to life like an act of creation, and that the creation
described within shall be realized. These things are offered for the fulfillment of God's
plan through my life. Let it be.
Since this is the first one of these, and because some people will think this is very
unusual - mainly because people don't usually talk about things like this in public - I
thought I should explain a few things about why I'm writing this.
First, because I think it's good for people to compare notes - to realize that
everybody has thoughts about things we don't usually talk about, and because of that, a
lot of great ideas and feelings don't get shared. I think it's got a lot to do with why
relationships end, why goals are not reached, why love is not expressed in this world as a
common thing that should easily be shared and acknowledged, but instead seems to have been
replaced by the feeling of pressure to get many things done more quickly because the
ever-increasing complexity of the world drives us instead of serving us.
Imagine what the world would be like if we realized that respect for a fellow worker is
a form of love, that honest business competition is a form of love in that it shows a
discipline that generates new ideas and things that serve people, as well as an artist's
instinct that is most satisfied by the vigilant quest for excellence - it's that
particular kind of perfectionism, when driven by the fun and joy it provides - that truly
serves other people, who benefit from those labors.
Of course, there's a great deal of difference between various kinds of love. Not all
love is sexual. I'll do a chapter soon called Sex, Love and Marriage that will talk more
about all that.
One thing I'm always aware of is how crazy the idea of being the Son of Man seems - to
other people and myself. I mean, if I was a psychiatrist and someone walked in and said
they thought they might be the Son of Man, I'd seriously question their sanity. After all,
in the history of mankind, there is only to be one guy who is actually that, and so the
question would naturally be, why him? I thought you'd find it interesting to know that I
share the same doubts and curiosity. I don't tell you that to add to the skepticism
regarding my credibility.
See, given all of my experiences and my "religious" experiences in
particular, as well as my actual name, I have to look at it more like, what if I am and do
nothing about it. So, I figure I have to give it all I can - take on the concept of being
the Son of Man - in order to actually find out if it's true. Because, if I found out
afterward and knew I did not accept the responsibility and do what I was supposed to do, I
would find it unbearable.
I find it interesting to notice that this is how I think about it, because it's very
much like how we don't do things we feel compelled or move to do because they wouldn't be
considered typical or orthodox, but if we had, we know it would havebeen of benefit
or be a success.
The truth is, at this moment, I would be willing to accept that I'm just someone whose
psychic skills and abilities have suddenly become more acute and so I'm having
premonitions and have attained the ability to alter things in the world through the
ability to command change... I could accept that I just tried something on, believing that
if it is true then I would be prepared to do the job... I could talk to knowledgeable
religious leaders who could actually advise me and guide me (something I'm actually in the
process of doing)... or it could easily be that I'm not any of these things but took the
time to find out the truth just in case. :} [Sting - If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free]
But the truth is - you know, that feeling deep inside yourself I refer to when I say we
all know the truth about ourselves, whether we tell anyone or not - I feel incredibly
compelled to press forward and actually do believe there's a high probability that I am,
indeed, the Son of Man.
I assure you though, I'll feel a whole lot better after talking to the religious
leaders. And if they think I'm crazy, then I'll go see a psychiatrist. :}
But, the other truth is for me, that I've actually seen a great deal of results from
things I've done - I won't go into details on that now - as well as realizing that that
tinge of doubt in my mind is actually the thing that holds me back from realizing my full
It's very much the difference between thought and thinking. Thought is comprised of all
the options and choices available, as well as the possible outcomes when weighing the
effects of the potential choices. Thinking is the result, or the action plan or attitude
you adopt after weighing the data in the thoughts.
Personally, I believe a little daydreaming is a good thing, just as I really appreciate
meditation in whatever form it takes. It gives you a chance to process things yourself,
instead of just living your life as in response to the circumstances that seem to force
you to live your life and make choices in a certain way. [George Michael - Freedom]
It's that feeling you get when you think to yourself that there just isn't enough time
in the day to get everything done, especially paying the bills, grooming the yard,
cleaning the house and all of that sort of thing. You just end up thinking you don't have
One other reason I'm doing this is because I sometimes talk about how I read the Bible
as a history book, as a literal translation of God telling us what we need to do, and as
the owner's manual. I think it's important to know the difference. And, this is the
owner's manual for me. Lets you know what I think about and how I come to the conclusions
I do. [Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - The Wheel]
While I still believe that God is instructing me what to write about, one of the things
I keep experiencing is how I'll say or do things, and then, in some way, I become informed
that what I'm doing is exactly what the Son of Man would do.
What I'm talking about most is that I did an I Ching reading last night. I never used
to take any stock in things like the I Ching until recently, when a friend decided she
needed to start doing them on me. I was amused, so I went along. Like a lot of people, I
was always curious about stuff like that, but, particularly because my religion said not
to indulge in such things, I didn't give it much serious consideration. The fact is,
though, I did some computer modeling on readings in the I Ching based on the concept of
chaos theory, and discovered that it's actually quite accurate when you learn to interpret
Last night, it told me to "see the great man". What that means, for me at
least, is to read the Bible. So, as always, I grabbed my Bible and said a prayer to be
lead to the perfect thing I was supposed to read.
Keep in mind, part of the thing that makes me take the "Son of Man" thing
seriously is how I've instinctively done what he's supposed to do. But, I'v eworried that
in the stories that I tell, that people would think I was telling all these stories about
my experiences because I wanted to impress you or something, instead of the fact that I
simply want to share my experiences and personality and thoughts in order to provide an
example of what kind of thinking I believe would fulfill God's plan. And to make sure
everyone can accept that human beings go through a lot of the same thought processes, like
insecurity, doubt and such, and that it's normal and healthy. And, that I am a real person
like you, not some deity-like symbol or statue that expects everyone to kiss his feet or
ring or something. You know, kind of more like a guy next door.
So, I opened up the Bible, and it was something inserted by the Religious leaders who
created the Concordance to my Bible. It preceded the New Testament.
And, it said that in the Bible, Jesus was written about mostly in the context of doing
miracles and such, but it never really said anything to describe Him as a man - what
He was like to be around and who He was as a person.
After all this time, and with the institutalization of religious practices, that people
only saw Jesus as a symbol - someone we've classified as being a certain way, a certain
type - and not only was it untrue, it set Him up as being some guy who was inaccessible,
and who did not use His time to engage in personal relationships.
Yet, when we talk about our relationships to God, we call it personal. How can you know
someone when you have no idea what they look like, act like and - ultimately, give you the
sense that they are a person a lot like you who actually enjoys your company, has
interests and desires - just like you. A real person you can actually have a relationship
So, it went on to say that the Son of Man would express a great deal more of His
personality in order to demonstrate that when God said he made people in His likeness,
that it really and truly actually meant that He is a lot like you. He is uncomfortable
with the idea that you see Him as a guy who's so different and Holy that he wouldn't want
to sit down and play a game of Pinochle with you just for the fun of it. And, like you, He
doesn't like being limited to being in a way that is dictated by other people's
expectations of Him, although he respects the idea that there are some real expectations
to live up to.
Ultimately, I laughed a little, and realized once again that what I was doing was what
I'm supposed to be doing. Whether or not I do it well, appropriately and true to
fulfilling God's plan remains to be seen. But I'm committed to that goal.
Meanwhile, on a lighter side.
I woke up in a great mood this morning. That feeling like being in love. I'll call that
a good thing.
[Cat Stevens - The Wind] I went into my "Don Williams Mode" - a country
singer I've always loved. Did the song "I Believe In Love". I love his soft,
gentle, flowing sound. Anyway, I wrote a tune that I think I called "I'm Gonna Make
You Mine"... something like that. :}
Then started thinking about writing this, and then thinking about how I've been trying
to talk some TV people into giving me a daily talk show, so I could sing a song or two and
then engage in some very candid, intimate discussions with people in a way that
would allow people to open up their thinking so that they didn't feel like they were
limited to acting and being and feeling like what they were forced to be - but instead
could generate their own reality or alternative way of thinking that's every bit as much
as valid as what we think is "normal". It's like dancing in your chair. It may
look a little funny, but it sure feels good, doesn't it?
And, I realized that this column, maybe this one in particular, is a good example of
the material you'd find in it. Except, of course, other people would be doing most of the
talking. My job would be to provide baseline distinctions to allow people to see different
possibilities. Anyway, for those folks, consider it. And, I really don't mean to seem
arrogant, but I truly believe I'd be the best person to lead the show. It's just part of
what I believe I'm supposed to do. [Sarah McLachlin - Possession]
I have many other things I want to get done today. I won't say that I'm going to write
weblog material everyday or anything like that, just when I feel I'm supposed to. But when
you come here, it'll be here. Makes it all pretty simple.
Right now, I have to finish writing about how to solve the problems between Israel and
[Don Williams - Lord, I Hope This Day Is Good]